Evolution in Language

Having learnt three different languages on three different points in my life has taught me but one thing only. The way humans construct languages is brimming with flaws and imperfections. Take for example this sentence “I am having dinner”. What if this 6 syllable sound was reduced to only 1 syllable like “lik”. Now every time anyone says “Lik” we know that person is having dinner. Take another sample sentence like “the dinner is delicious”. Let us use the monosyllabic “Rut” to mean this.

What if we could construct a whole language like that. Virtually all the sentences that one can construct in a language will be coded with a single syllabic sound. I concede that it will drastically increase the number of words in the dictionary of this language and non-native speakers will find learning this language more difficult than learning German but just imagine the increase in the velocity of communication between people. Things like “Do you like it?” will be replaced with “Nak” and thats it. The point if across.

However, I wonder what effect having such a language will  have on the culture of the human civilization. Would conversations be shorter? Would we speak less? Would people have thoughts that they don’t have words for? How would poetry in such a language flourish, if at all. How would that language evolve? Would there be slang in it? How about curse words? Or would it be just too hard to learn. After all there can be virtually an infinite number of sentences in a language. Could we ever run out of syllables? We could start using two syllables then. But how do I know that isn't the way our current languages started. These questions can only be answered if such a language were to exist.

But for now, let us put this theory into test and see if the reader understands this piece of communication.

“Lik”

“Nak?”                                                                                         

“Rut”.

The Language of the World

I feel a tinge in my spine when I talk to people from non English speaking countries with absolute ease and comfort because it is not the language I speak and not the language they speak and yet we can have meaningful conversations about everything. But that's just a natural reaction to the growing globalisation that we find ourselves a part of. Its fascinating that I can talk to someone from a place where my country might never have been mentioned but still there is something that links us.

I think it is inevitable that humanity will one day have only one language, that all the others will fade away, die out and just become redundant. Frankly speaking, we are too smart to have a language which is flawad with imperfections, logical inconsistencies(silent letters?) and too primitive. A feat that every language has managed to perform so far. It may not be the most popular of views ever expressed but I think one day it will happen.

Honestly I mean can you imagine how emabarrasing it would be if an alien from another star system visits us and we have to tell him( I wonder how) that we dont understand another earthmen because he lives in another country a few thousand miles away? Would impression would it leave?

So I think in a another 500 years or so, we will need a language for the world and no its cant be English because it is native to some people. and therefore would be unfair to others. I think we will have to, this time consciously come up with a language for ourselves. Top linguists from all the languages will sit down(The Language conference of 2454?) brain storm and come up with a language. Following are the features I think should be a part of such a language.

1. There should be no silent letters whatsoever. What you see is what you read and pronounce.
2. The number of vowel sounds should be fixed arbitrarily. I propose that a varied number of vowel sounds should be taken from different languages to make sure a variety of words can be made.
3. There should be no exception to rules. Subject verb agreements, sentences, verb conjugations, conjunctions spellings should follow a pattern and never break it.
4. An attempt should be made to have around at least 5 synonyms for each word differing in severity of meaning from low to high.
5. Verbs should be separable and new words can be made without the need for them to be in the dictionary(Strict rules to be followed here). This should encourage creativity
6. Words should have a limited, but a great many number of, fixed endings(so as to encourage rhyming)
7. All basic words should have hand gestures fixed to them, performed every time, so as to be able to communicate to special people without having to learn sign language.
8. Once developed, an earth wide initiative should be taken to get literature written in the new language.

I realise some important literature from all the languages would have to be done away with and I am not too happy about it either but this is a price we have to pay. On the plus side it will give rise to a new kind of hobbyists; called the archaic language learners. How cool would that be.

Phrases that humanity can live without.

Following is a list of phrases that I have something( mostly negative) to say about.

1. It isn't even funny
Okay. I may pay more attention to what words people use, and how they use it, but this one really gets to me. This particular phrase makes some underlying assumptions which I don't support or approve of or respect. Firstly it somehow assumes that everything has to be funny. Literally everything in the world which sadly(or funnily?) isn't. Saying "its not even funny" is like saying "since we have already established that everything has to be funny and since this particular thing isn't ,therefore this isn't good enough". Sometimes "its not even funny" makes you think that well up until a certain point it was funny and then almost as if by accident it ceased to be funny. Like on a number line it was funny from 1 to 6 but as soon as we reached 7 it ceased to be funny. I hope I have conveyed my feelings in somewhat intelligible words

 2. Think of the devil and the devil is here.
I feel the devil has a very unique place in our pop culture and language. The role of the devil is the central theme in most films TV shows and "religions". Almost always when the devil comes(antagonist in movies) the plot develops, thickens and becomes more interesting. The same can be said about the phrase. Because superficially we are expected and trained to dislike the devil yet we end up thinking about him/her/it and then he/she/it appears. and we are happy. This phrase accurately depicts our true relationship with the devil.


and last and MOST CERTAINLY the least.


3. Last but not the least.
I mean really whats up with this phrase anyway. Is it like an obligation now that every time a list is being talked about one has to say it? I don't get that. To say that this is clichéd is the most monumentally colossal understatement since the big bang itself. I am sure the Neanderthals used to blog about how old this phrase is and how meaningless. and well lets just be honest. Sometimes the last IS the least. We really dont have to be so deceptively euphemistic about everything.