Linguistically Speaking

Is there a difference between the words angry, annoyed, irritated,irked perturbed? What about the differences between imitate, emulate, copy, mimic? These words are similar in meaning but do they mean exactly the same thing? Being a person who is very particular about what words I use to describe what I intend to say, I think these synonyms although similar in meaning are not absolutely interchangeable. Meaning thereby when I say I “intend” to say something, it’s not exactly the same as saying that I “want” to say something. I think this is the case with everyone. It is easy to tell the context of the conversation by carefully scrutinizing the words used in it. Albeit small, there is still a difference in meaning we associate with different words.

This makes me wonder. What if we associate slightly different meanings to the same word? What if when I say the word annoy, I intend to say something which is ever so slightly different than what the listener thinks I meant. What sort of problems could this create?

If I were to elaborate on this point a little bit, it would follow that we make sure our friends or people we love associate the same emotions and meaning to certain words as we do. Or maybe that’s how it already is. Maybe only those people become friends whose meanings of words mean similar things.

I suggest we pay very close attention to this phenomenon. We have to be extremely perceptive of it. For if we are not, this has potential to cause problems where there should be none. 

The Language of the World

I feel a tinge in my spine when I talk to people from non English speaking countries with absolute ease and comfort because it is not the language I speak and not the language they speak and yet we can have meaningful conversations about everything. But that's just a natural reaction to the growing globalisation that we find ourselves a part of. Its fascinating that I can talk to someone from a place where my country might never have been mentioned but still there is something that links us.

I think it is inevitable that humanity will one day have only one language, that all the others will fade away, die out and just become redundant. Frankly speaking, we are too smart to have a language which is flawad with imperfections, logical inconsistencies(silent letters?) and too primitive. A feat that every language has managed to perform so far. It may not be the most popular of views ever expressed but I think one day it will happen.

Honestly I mean can you imagine how emabarrasing it would be if an alien from another star system visits us and we have to tell him( I wonder how) that we dont understand another earthmen because he lives in another country a few thousand miles away? Would impression would it leave?

So I think in a another 500 years or so, we will need a language for the world and no its cant be English because it is native to some people. and therefore would be unfair to others. I think we will have to, this time consciously come up with a language for ourselves. Top linguists from all the languages will sit down(The Language conference of 2454?) brain storm and come up with a language. Following are the features I think should be a part of such a language.

1. There should be no silent letters whatsoever. What you see is what you read and pronounce.
2. The number of vowel sounds should be fixed arbitrarily. I propose that a varied number of vowel sounds should be taken from different languages to make sure a variety of words can be made.
3. There should be no exception to rules. Subject verb agreements, sentences, verb conjugations, conjunctions spellings should follow a pattern and never break it.
4. An attempt should be made to have around at least 5 synonyms for each word differing in severity of meaning from low to high.
5. Verbs should be separable and new words can be made without the need for them to be in the dictionary(Strict rules to be followed here). This should encourage creativity
6. Words should have a limited, but a great many number of, fixed endings(so as to encourage rhyming)
7. All basic words should have hand gestures fixed to them, performed every time, so as to be able to communicate to special people without having to learn sign language.
8. Once developed, an earth wide initiative should be taken to get literature written in the new language.

I realise some important literature from all the languages would have to be done away with and I am not too happy about it either but this is a price we have to pay. On the plus side it will give rise to a new kind of hobbyists; called the archaic language learners. How cool would that be.

What we are exposed to is what we end up becoming

There are only a very specific type of people who will understand the following joke

" zara zuruck bleiben hojao"

I think that every person that I have ever met in my life has affected me in some way or the other. I have learnt things from people who weren't teaching me anything . I picked their words their language, their emotions, how they betray their emotions, how they react to words to situations and others reactions. I picked everything. Then I got a lot from watching television, movies, following social media, and from places I visited or sights I saw.

Point is that I am in essence the "result" and the "output" of whatever was put into me by all these different means that I have mentioned. I dont know what part of me is actually me or whether there is any part of me that is me. and this brings me to the following thought

If what I have said above is true, and I most certainly think it is, then wouldn't it be nice to expose young people(children adolescents young adults) to only the right sort of information and people ? Couldn't we cherry-pick and actually choose very wisely and acutely what they see hear touch and consequently feel and react ? Would that be wise? would that be ethical?

And then I think don't we already do it? We want our children to go the best schools, read the best books, and we censor their viewer ship of certain types of electronic entertainment and encourage certain others? If we do it , is THAT ethical to do ?

I will end it by just stating that I wish I had never met those people,watched those TV sitcoms, been to those places ,or read those books that taught me, to be afraid of change, to feel envious, to fear and let my decisions be affected by it. I wish I had never but I have. and I have to live with that.

Phrases that humanity can live without.

Following is a list of phrases that I have something( mostly negative) to say about.

1. It isn't even funny
Okay. I may pay more attention to what words people use, and how they use it, but this one really gets to me. This particular phrase makes some underlying assumptions which I don't support or approve of or respect. Firstly it somehow assumes that everything has to be funny. Literally everything in the world which sadly(or funnily?) isn't. Saying "its not even funny" is like saying "since we have already established that everything has to be funny and since this particular thing isn't ,therefore this isn't good enough". Sometimes "its not even funny" makes you think that well up until a certain point it was funny and then almost as if by accident it ceased to be funny. Like on a number line it was funny from 1 to 6 but as soon as we reached 7 it ceased to be funny. I hope I have conveyed my feelings in somewhat intelligible words

 2. Think of the devil and the devil is here.
I feel the devil has a very unique place in our pop culture and language. The role of the devil is the central theme in most films TV shows and "religions". Almost always when the devil comes(antagonist in movies) the plot develops, thickens and becomes more interesting. The same can be said about the phrase. Because superficially we are expected and trained to dislike the devil yet we end up thinking about him/her/it and then he/she/it appears. and we are happy. This phrase accurately depicts our true relationship with the devil.


and last and MOST CERTAINLY the least.


3. Last but not the least.
I mean really whats up with this phrase anyway. Is it like an obligation now that every time a list is being talked about one has to say it? I don't get that. To say that this is clichéd is the most monumentally colossal understatement since the big bang itself. I am sure the Neanderthals used to blog about how old this phrase is and how meaningless. and well lets just be honest. Sometimes the last IS the least. We really dont have to be so deceptively euphemistic about everything.

On our language and the language of our dear beloved neighbours

So when I came in contact with people from Germany I was surprised to find out they didn't know that spoken Urdu and spoken Hindi were very similar languages so much so that we can understand each other completely. I dont blame them. I mean after all everybody knows we dont have the best of relations. But its quite fascinating to be cursed and hurled abuses at in your own national language. It adds quite a flavour to it. I kid here, because on the people to people level. We couldn't be a more similar bunch of people

There IS one difference that I have noted and will like to jot down here. Some Indian people I have met have remarked on my Urdu that its quite "respectful" or "it has some unique words" and that the "pronunciation is beautiful". But I think that's the result of years of reputation held by Urdu as that stately, very civil and "cultured?" language because I think I speak quite normal and not at all well or beautifully

BUT it has led me to something I never thought I would. Now when I meet Indians I actually try to speak those heavy duty, hard sounding, clean throated "pure" and extremely Urdu sounding words and I make the structure of the language as the one in Mughal times. :(.  Hey I am not proud of it but I do it. The last time I did that I even told myself that its crazy and that it doesn't matter. and in any case I am making myself harder to understand. but hey. Put me and an Indian in the same room. and just see how nicely I speak Urdu.

I found myself using words like "tamaddun" "tahzeeb" "khalis" "muttafiq, Taluq and ittefaq" and heck even "yalabari. Quite some words I wouldn't use otherwise. But hey, a mans gotta boast sometimes on some things. This happens to be weird but thats my "that sometime".

p.s If you are an Indian and reading this. I am so sorry :( "mein yeh amal dobara hargiz nahin duhraonga"